Saturday, May 26, 2012

How Good Should You Be To Your Parents?

How Good Should You Be To Your Parents?

  The Qur'an says : Be thankful to Me and to your Parents ...Surah Luqman verse 14. We can thank Allah in many ways.. by worshipping him...obeying him... But is a mere "Thank you" or a card on "Parent's day" or just a hug with no warmth, enough to display our thank to our parents?

   Among the verses which we hear the most in our sermons, seminars and personal advices is " Be good to your parents"  Can goodness be measured? Can you take  a stock of your goodness?  NO ! But can Allah take stock of my goodess? Yes. If you study the verses related to the the rights of parents you will come  across many injuctions that gives us a good parameter to atleast analyse how good we are to our parents, rather how bad we are to them.

    In Surha Baqarah verse 83, Allah says : We taook a promise from the Bani Israel that they will not worship any one besides Allah and will be kind to  their parents... The arabic phrase is : Wabil Walidayn ihasana...Ihsan in Urdu means to oblige someone. But in Arabic it means : To offer the best. The root word "Ha Seen Noon" has another word " Husna" which means "To beautify".  Now if study the phrase again, we read it " and "Beautify your conduct towards your parents" How does one beautify his conduct. or offer a best conduct?

    Ihsan also means better response for good , good for evil and it reflects in speech and action. In speech, the Qur'an gives and example inn Surah Nisaa..And when a  courtesou greeting is offered to your respond it with better.. the Arabic phrase for better response is..with ahsan...Ahsan is a superlative degree of good.. and the Hadith explains this verse : when some body says Assalamualaikum.. you reply him : walaykumussalam warahamtullah wabarakatuhu... Rahmatullahi and Barakatuhu are better reponse...

   So how can we do ihsan with parents in  speech? Surah Isra , verse 23 says : Waqullahuma qaulan Kareema.. and talk to them in an honourable manner. ..Dont' instruct them but request them. Respond them politey.  Correct them respectfully. This is what the Qur'an instructs us when it says: do not say even "UFF" to them. Even a harsh father of Prophet Ibrahim was responded by his son by the term " Yaa Abaati " O my dear father ". This  ihsan was  towards a father who is one of the biggest obstacle in his passion of Touhid. Compare this with our corrections of our parents who are  regular in salah and nice people!

     Even body language is a form of communication, isnt it? Looking harshly at parents can give you negative grades. Aisha r.a.a said : A man looking harshly at his father is not a man of rightous conduct ( In spite of his being a regular in the masjid, giving charity....)  Ibn Abbas said : Ihsan towards parents also include, not to shake one's clothes before them so as to prevent the dust from our clothers fall on them !

   Allah loves kindness to parents says a popular Hadith from Bukhari. But many of us exclude spending on parents . Let us check from the Qur'an : They ask you what should spend? Say : What ever  you spend  is good.. on parents.. So spending on parents is an act that qualifies you to stand in the ranks of those who  do Ihasan with parents. A father has right to spend the money of his son. This is an Islamic ruling with no second opinion. Today we run out of our money in buying expensive gadgets for our wives and kids, while our parents run short of money for their medicines.  Let me whisper one more thing.. wasting your parent's money is also a bad conduct towards them.

    Inspite of doing all these things have we really thanked our parents ? No not possible. Refer to Surha Luqman, verse 14 : In travail upon travail did his mother bear him.... means when we wereint he womb of our mothers she carried us with utmost care....and two years of weaning, says the verse..Can we carry our mother continuosly for 24 hours day and night? No. Then how do we  thank her? Since we are not able to return their obligation with Ihsan, with better conduct then they did to us,  so we continue doing best to them and yet leave the matter to Allah to reward them...Note this Qur'anic verse : (Pray for them ) My Lord ! Bestow on them your mercy as they cherished me in childhood...

   Author : Nisaar Nadiadwala

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