Saturday, May 26, 2012
How Good Should You Be To Your Parents?
Saturday, May 26, 2012 by Unknown
How Good Should You Be To Your Parents?
Among the verses which we hear the most in our sermons, seminars and
personal advices is " Be good to your parents" Can goodness be
measured? Can you take a stock of your goodness? NO ! But can Allah
take stock of my goodess? Yes. If you study the verses related to the
the rights of parents you will come across many injuctions that gives
us a good parameter to atleast analyse how good we are to our parents,
rather how bad we are to them.
In Surha Baqarah verse
83, Allah says : We taook a promise from the Bani Israel that they will
not worship any one besides Allah and will be kind to their parents...
The arabic phrase is : Wabil Walidayn ihasana...Ihsan in Urdu means to
oblige someone. But in Arabic it means : To offer the best. The root
word "Ha Seen Noon" has another word " Husna" which means "To beautify".
Now if study the phrase again, we read it " and "Beautify your conduct
towards your parents" How does one beautify his conduct. or offer a
best conduct?
Ihsan also means better response for
good , good for evil and it reflects in speech and action. In speech,
the Qur'an gives and example inn Surah Nisaa..And when a courtesou
greeting is offered to your respond it with better.. the Arabic phrase
for better response is..with ahsan...Ahsan is a superlative degree of
good.. and the Hadith explains this verse : when some body says
Assalamualaikum.. you reply him : walaykumussalam warahamtullah
wabarakatuhu... Rahmatullahi and Barakatuhu are better reponse...
So how can we do ihsan with parents in speech? Surah Isra , verse 23
says : Waqullahuma qaulan Kareema.. and talk to them in an honourable
manner. ..Dont' instruct them but request them. Respond them politey.
Correct them respectfully. This is what the Qur'an instructs us when it
says: do not say even "UFF" to them. Even a harsh father of Prophet
Ibrahim was responded by his son by the term " Yaa Abaati " O my dear
father ". This ihsan was towards a father who is one of the biggest
obstacle in his passion of Touhid. Compare this with our corrections of
our parents who are regular in salah and nice people!
Even body language is a form of communication, isnt it? Looking
harshly at parents can give you negative grades. Aisha r.a.a said : A
man looking harshly at his father is not a man of rightous conduct ( In
spite of his being a regular in the masjid, giving charity....) Ibn
Abbas said : Ihsan towards parents also include, not to shake one's
clothes before them so as to prevent the dust from our clothers fall on
them !
Allah loves kindness to parents says a popular
Hadith from Bukhari. But many of us exclude spending on parents . Let us
check from the Qur'an : They ask you what should spend? Say : What
ever you spend is good.. on parents.. So spending on parents is an act
that qualifies you to stand in the ranks of those who do Ihasan with
parents. A father has right to spend the money of his son. This is an
Islamic ruling with no second opinion. Today we run out of our money in
buying expensive gadgets for our wives and kids, while our parents run
short of money for their medicines. Let me whisper one more thing..
wasting your parent's money is also a bad conduct towards them.
Inspite of doing all these things have we really thanked our parents ?
No not possible. Refer to Surha Luqman, verse 14 : In travail upon
travail did his mother bear him.... means when we wereint he womb of our
mothers she carried us with utmost care....and two years of weaning,
says the verse..Can we carry our mother continuosly for 24 hours day and
night? No. Then how do we thank her? Since we are not able to return
their obligation with Ihsan, with better conduct then they did to us,
so we continue doing best to them and yet leave the matter to Allah to
reward them...Note this Qur'anic verse : (Pray for them ) My Lord
! Bestow on them your mercy as they cherished me in childhood...
Author : Nisaar Nadiadwala
This post was written by: Author Name
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